tale of a fitness instuctor....

i was found on the kitchen floor mid november 2014! dh and me think i blacked out and on the way down banged the back of my head on the edge of the kitchen worktop on the way, hence i was out cold for 20 mins (apparantly).
after a trip to a and e, doctors and another trip to a and e (possible slow bleed on my brain, which wasn`t) i have found myself with pcs. my life has changed ever since.

before all this i was a very active zumba instructor, in fact taught at the gym i went to for all classes (averaged 11 a week), very fit, very "quick" on picking up things. now its all changed. i have bad headaches, dizziness etc.
i have recently started going back to the gym as i can`t sit still anymore, fed up of being a flump really. its been hard. i also have memory problems, short term quite a bit and some long term has got lost.

i went to a friends zumba class, i thought surely the old class "faves" songs would have stuck....i was so wrong. the music came on, " oooh remember this" said my neighbour. "errr do i?" . well i had NO IDEA what to do with the choregraphy or the song. zero. nothing. it was like the 3 years i`ve spent shimmying, dancing etc were nothing and had never been.

all classes are the same. i have trouble "getting" the moves, each time i go to classes and been several times now, nothing its like the first time every time. zumba is my worst nightmare as i know i should know it and be rocking it out like a pro!! i go the wrong way etc like a newbie!!! so now i can`t teach fullstop end of story. that line of work depends on memory to demonstate and to cue the next move coming up.

i too find i`m not able to claim anything financially (self employed). every class is torture. i have horrendous headaches on painkillers, i feel like i`m going to fall over, collapse on the spin bike or something, can`t remember one class to the next. its not nice when participants want to know when i`m up for teaching again, cuts me up to say i don`t know....if ever, or for people to say "you go in front of me, you know what you`re doing lol, we`ll follow you" in a class. i retreat to the back now, i want to melt into the background, hard to do when you`ve been the idiot at the front lol! instructors watch me like a hawk bless them.

my career is over.

Hi Sarah,

Firstly welcome to this new forum.

I am so sorry to hear how you feel as I only know too well what it is like. Has your GP prescribed you and medication?

The thing I find the hardest is not knowing if my memory and the headaches etc will get better as there is hardly any information on the subject in the UK. That is why I am currently speaking to Neurologists to find out what is actually being done. There is research into PCS being carried out at the minute and I have some of the latest research article which I will put on the forum as soon as can work out how to! they are currently in PDF format.

I also felt like people thought I was making it all up, which in turn makes you feel very lonely, hence why I decided to set up this forum. I find that just being able to explain to others who have suffered or are still suffering how I am feeling helps me. Its also difficult because as you are not the same, (your friends tend to desert you) as you are unable to work, (the financial worries begin) its almost like a snowball effect. So many are suffering yet there is little help out there, I had to give my GP information on PCS as she did not no anything about it.

Have you also found that you lose your temper at trivial things or through pure frustration?

i`m such a calm bunny/was. i do have a shorter fuse now. i get frustrated and i`m sure my gp thinks i`m putting it on. i`ve had to explain to everyone i`ve met since i stopped hiding in the house lately. i also found out who my friends are! that sucked quite a bit. another gym instructor had a car accident some years back so she fully knows my memory problems !! 2 instructors (friends) really understand now i`ve been back to the gym how bad i am. they were shocked at how much co ordination i have lost and my problems with memory and how much it affects just following aerobics/ fitness moves. they do cue moves ALOT more when i am there after i explained when i hear "and from the top" or "other foot" i`m like "huh??????". they also know for all i laugh it off when i go wrong, inside i`m dying. i darn`t try bodycombat. i could accidently kick someone in the face going the wrong way!!! did you have problems with memory and speech? i used to (and now if i`m tired/stressed) get stuck mid sentence or not be able to find the right word. i used to avoid talking to anyone outside of dh. when i first went back to the gym a couple of weeks back i was nervous and it happened. people were like whats up with her!! thankfully thats not so bad now. but for me gp/nhs wise i`m left to get on with it really.

Yeah frustration is a killer, and regarding your GP I think its just that most of them know very little about PCS, changing that is one of my aims.
I didn't leave the house for a while and I still do not like going to places that I know will be busy, such as Tesco etc and the lighting seems to be brighter and make my head hurt more.
My memory is still very bad, if not worse since I had a mental breakdown following the PCS and I find that if I am talking I completely lose track of what I was wanting to say and then get frustrated with myself which makes it worse. I also find myself stuttering, the word is there in my brain but for some reason just wont come out.
My PCS started to get better with medication etc after about 6 months but then I took a huge nose dive due to the stress and strains that the PCS had on my life, not being able to work brought financial worries, not being able to do or enjoy things I used to do, the way I was being treated by my employer throughout my PCS all of these issues seemed to be the straw that broke the camels back and it was like switching a light off. I went from thinking I could rebuild my life again to having a complete breakdown and that's where I am currently at. I am getting lots of help and trying to concentrate on positive things like this forum, raising awareness and making sure other sufferers like ourselves can chat, help each other and never feel alone.
I hope you received the leaflet that I emailed to you as I gave this to my GP and it got the ball rolling for me. has your GP issued you any medication? If so what have you tried so far?

just stemetil for the dizziness and naproxen pain killer. i don`t like medication anytime.

I have not heard of those, I was on Amitriptyline and something else that I cannot remember.

Hi Sarah,

Welcome to the forum!
So sorry to hear you have been suffering, I appreciate it must be a really difficult time for you especially with your profession
I notice that in one of your posts you said that you weren't a big fan of medication, well we have recently been lucky enough for Dr Joanny Liu to join us on the forum as a member, her special interest is in Classical Chinese Medicine. I wonder if it would be worth watching some of her videos on here as it may be an avenue you could look at especially if you're not too keen on medication as this may be the way forward for you? She is often on TV in Canada and has written a number of books (there is one in the book section on here)
Also I was wondering if you've had any luck with your GP yet at all?
Best wishes

well been back to the gym a few weeks now....and i feel SO much better!! no medication at all now. still do dappy things, but we`re getting there. positive thoughts, activity and good support from staff (they write stuff down for me lol!!)

Glad to hear you are getting better Sarahr,

Please keep us updated

well i perservered with classes. my co ordination etc is still way off, likewise picking up the moves. i have given up on teaching now to be honest.

Oh no Sarah, so sorry to hear that you are feeling this way....
You sounded positive last time regarding the gym, are you still managing OK with that?
Maybe hold off a little while before you consider giving up teaching (although it must be frustrating at the moment for you with struggling with co ordination and moves etc) as from what you have said it has been a huge part of your life and also your job (probably what is making this time more difficult for you)
Do you have any other hobbies or interests that you could focus on for the moment so as not to put too much pressure on yourself by concentrating solely on teaching?
Maybe a little time out to do something else may help?
Do you have plenty of support at home?
Has your GP been any more understanding of what your experiencing?
Sending best wishes to you
Xx